I always feel that my station is precarious - regardless of how favorable my situation may be.

While I'm working on my blog about repealing alimony laws, here's another political blog that doesn't involve much research on my part.

A lot of people don't know that you can have certain aspects of your CORI sealed - 10 years later for a misdemeanor and 15 years later for a felony. However, there are certain crimes that cannot be sealed, one of which being rape. On the other hand, crimes on your juvenile record are automatically sealed once you come of age.

Those last two facts having been said,the issue of rape by a minor creates a puzzling scenario.
In Massachusetts, the age of consent is 16 years old and the law revolves around the age of the female involved. The concept of the age of consent rests upon the belief that under the age of 16, an individual cannot actually consent to anything because they are not mentally or emotionally mature enough to be able to fully comprehend the ramifications of their decisions. In a similar vein, the establishment of 18 as the legal age of an adult rests upon the presumption that under the age of 18 an individual is not responsible enough to make their own decisions, nor are they mature enough to measure consequences and long term effects.

Taking all of the above into consideration, suppose Johnny, who is 16, has a one night stand with Susie, who is 15 years old. Johnny is convicted of statutory rape for engaging in intercourse with an individual who is not mature enough to truly consent to a sexual act. However, the argument can be made that Johnny committed said act, regardless of whether or not Susie consented, because, as an individual under the age of 18, he is not mentally or emotionally mature enough to properly weigh the consequences of his actions. Under the law he is a minor but under the law he also committed rape. The same legal conundrum is created in more difficult circumstances - say Johnny had sex with Susie while she was drunk and did not, in fact, consent. It was, indeed, rape but he is, indeed, a minor and therefore, arguably, less responsible for his actions. So we have a situation of conflict of law and thus the question is, to seal or not to seal?

I personally do not believe that there is an easy solution to this situation. Ideally, it would be settled on a case by case basis, but the law doesn't work that way because in order for the law to be fair, there must be some level of uniformity. However, what is fair is not always just and what is just is not always fair. Fortunately, there is some level of discretion involved in the review of petitions to seal, which can be a saving grace for some. For others there are those who invariably draw the hard line that rape is rape, regardless of age. Perhaps some guidelines can be applied to cases across the board to make a determination - but who is to determine which type of rape is more serious a crime? Indeed, it runs the risk of understating the severity of someone's traumatic experience and even runs the risk of allowing a dangerous individual to exist unmonitored in society.

It's a multifaceted argument and the potential solutions are numerous. Unfortunately, the way that these conflicts of law are often sorted out is through a series of cases in which many suffer as collateral.

I have always been a people pleaser. Usually a little too much so. I used to be really easy going about it - I never expected anything in return, not even any recognition. I just kind of did it. But lately my patience in that area has been running out. I suppose that it 's because I'm older now and I've developed a better concept of respect and have learned to stand up for myself. Maybe it's also because I've just worn myself out giving too much. Or maybe over the years the number of people who take it for granted has built up to the point where I can't overlook it anymore.

What hurts me the most is that some of the people closest to me are guilty of it. I feel as though they almost expect that I will just do whatever they need for them and I don't even get a simple "thank-you" from them. It's aggravating and it also makes me question our relationships. Are they using me? Do they really see nothing wrong with their behavior? Do they really have as little respect for me as they display?

I suppose in that situation most people would just stop doing things for others but I must be a glutton for punishment because I can't seem to stop myself. That sounded really arrogant. How do I rephrase that? I really just don't know how to say no, particularly when it comes to those closest to me. I enjoy taking care of people and I really do like to please people. What I really need is to learn how to stand up for myself even more so and to set solid limits to allowing people to more or less use me. Don't get me wrong - I realize that a lot of people don't mean to act like that and don't realize what they're doing - but I do need to find an effective and polite way to point that out - for my sake and for the sake of my friendships.

Cliche as it sounds, my job really isn't easy and there are a lot of times when I wonder if it's really for me. I lose sleep worrying about my clients and it's amazing how nasty people can be even when you're trying to help them. But every once in a while, I meet a new client who reminds me of why I took this job and actually makes me want to stay in this field. When they finally get all set up and settled in I'm genuinely happy for them and I actually want to thank THEM for keeping me focused on what's important.

Whenever I'm driving down 95 and I see that the staties have pulled someone over, I think to myself "what the HELL could they have done to get pulled over?!" Everyone is doing 70 or better when the speed limit is 55 so they couldn't have been speeding...unless the cops haven't noticed that using one ridiculously unlucky speeder as an example isn't really working. And how much would your life have to suck to be that guy?

No, I imagine it to be something like this:
Trainee: Sir, that one! He's going 80 mph!
Officer: No. That one. Headlight out. That one's mine. (in a Clint Eastwood voice, of course)

Some Random Thoughts about Driving

There are few things more aggravating than when you're angry at someone and you can't get your horn to honk. You just look like you're really pissed at your steering wheel...or like you have no control over your arms. Then you just get more aggravated, so you scream but you're in your car so they can't hear you and then you look like you have torrets. Then you realize you're being an asshole and either pass them or deal with it.

Are all hybrid drivers assholes? I don't know what it is, but I swear to God every time I get stuck behind someone driving a Prius they are doing 60 in the fast lane and refuse to move and are COMPLETELY oblivious to my indications that they are too slow and are wearing on my patience. Like, is it not fuel efficient enough to match the speed of the person crawling up your ass? Do they just not go above 60? Or is the whole fuel efficiency thing just bull shit and in actuality your speedometer says 80 when you're only doing 60 so you think your car is fuel efficient but it's actually just slow?

And school buses in the fast lane. WHAT IS THAT? I mean, I know a carload of screaming kids is a nightmare, but are you actively trying to kill them and yourself? Especially the minivan buses. Seriously, just quit.

Finally, I wish parallel parking didn't exist. Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a pretty good driver. I mean, I have momentary lapses, but I'm not bad...then you see me attempt to parallel park and MAN that's embarassing. I had to get out of the car and have a man parallel park for me the other day. Do you know what that feels like for a Smithie to do? To admit defeat to the man?! So now I'm determined. I am going to go out and practice and parallel park EVERYWHERE. Even when it's not necessary just because I'll be able to. OK actually, I really hate it and will probably avoid it at all costs even if I miraculously become good at it.

For the first time in a long time I am truly content. I know what I want...the only possible problem is that I'm too afraid to say it out loud. Solution to that problem: enjoy the here and now and lately I've been enjoying every minute of it.